The Four A's of Stress Management

1  AVOID the stressor

2. ALTER the stressor
3. ACCEPT the stressor
4. ADAPT to the stressor 

AVOID UNNECESSARY STRESS:
Learn how to say NO - (Yes, easier said than done but with practice…) Know your limits and stick to them. Do NOT take on more than you can handle.

Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes you stress and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with them. Or, when in doubt, cut them out.

Take control of your environment – If the news stresses you out, don’t watch it. If grocery shopping stresses you out, shop online. If traffic drives you to drink, take a longer but less traveled route.

Avoid hot button topics – If religion or politics gets your blood pressure going, don’t discuss them. If you argue with the same people over the same subject repeatedly, excuse yourself when that subject comes up.

Shorten your to-do list – Choose between ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’. Drop tasks that aren't necessary.

ALTER THE SITUATION:
Express, don’t bottle – If someone or something is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way.

Be willing to compromise - (compromise and trust is the foundation of EVERY relationship).

Be more assertive – Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on and try to anticipate and prevent them.

Manage your time better – Plan ahead and don’t overextend yourself.

ADAPT TO THE STRESSOR:
Re frame problems – Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. If you are stuck in traffic, look at it as an opportunity to regroup, listen to your favorite radio station or enjoy some alone time.

Look at the big picture – Take perspective of the situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If not, then focus your energy elsewhere.

Adjust your standards – Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and for others.

Focus on the positive – When things are getting you down, tank a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts.

ACCEPT THE THINGS YOU CAN”T CHANGE:
Don’t try to control the Uncontrollable – We cannot control the behavior of others. Focus not on them but how you react to their behavior.

Look at the upside – “What doesn't kill us makes us stronger”. When facing challenges, look at them as an opportunity for personal growth. Learn from your mistakes.

Share your feelings – Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist (Yes, sometimes it takes meeting a few different therapists before you find the RIGHT one!)

Learn to Forgive – Accept that fact that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentment. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.


* I took this directly from a group lesson and a hand out from the program I attended. I have changes some of the wording but it is basically their words. This information has been VERY helpful and I reread it often.