I attended an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting last night. I went not only for moral support for a good friend of mine, but also because I thought MAYBE I'd find a bit of the 'group' atmosphere I am searching for.
It was NOTHING like I thought it would be.
I knew these meetings were held in church basements, and I expected it to be a bit dingy, but the smell of old coffee (which I don't love) and the smell of cigarettes (I think I may have been the only non-smoker) smacked me in the face HARD as I walked in. It was chilly in there and the hard metal chairs were freezing. I had an open mind, so I put aside these physical annoyances and found a seat.
I was very surprised at how many times the posters and hangings mentioned 'God' I was under the impression that AA was not a religious group, but this one definitely was. Everyone here seemed to have 'found god' or been saved by 'their higher power'.
Half the people who 'talked' I could not understand. The didn't have many teeth combined, and they all mumbled. One guy with cut off sleeves (it's November) and no teeth got up and read off what I THINK were the '12 steps' as I heard some numbers in there, he mumbled horribly, spoke very fast and never once paused for a breath or looked up at his audience.
The last person to talk ended his spiel talking about Angels lifting him up off his knees as he was praying and out-of-body experiences - I mean, SERIOUSLY!?
No one spoke to me, introduced themselves, smiled or made me feel the least bit welcome yet all of the speakers talked about letting the group love you.
All in all I am glad I went. Now I know. Back to the drawing board I guess.
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